It may seem like I’m a sarcastic asshole 24/7, but I’m actually only a sarcastic asshole 18/7 because at night I actually have feelings.
theres only 4 months left of this year and if that doesnt freak you out then youre lying
I’m so much cooler on tumblr than in real life but I’m not even cool on tumblr
This is so true I need to hit myself with a frying pan because of it.
please don’t hit yourself with a frying pan??
I think we all just want that one person who would do anything to keep us from swallowing a bottle of pills
"sir what you did is literally 100 percent illegal"
"ok but get this: im a rich white person"
"oh sorry about that sir"
*goes out of room*
*goes back in the room*
*repeats the next day*